The Unspoken Power of Community: From Potlucks to Integrity
A decade ago, before this website even existed, a dream was stirring in me—a dream of true community and belonging. It started in the most humble way possible: with potlucks. My wife and I would open our home and share the little we had, hoping to create a space for people to connect.
What we discovered was a beautiful collaboration. It didn't matter if you had a little or a lot; everyone wanted to bring something to the table. This simple act of shared effort was the beginning of my journey to find my own integrity.
The Struggle for "Hell Yeah"
For a long time, my deepest need was to feel a sense of belonging. This meant saying "yes" to everything, even when I wanted to say "no," out of a fear of rejection. My people-pleasing skills were top-notch—some might even say I was a master manipulator. And they weren't wrong.
But integrity, for me, became about finding my "hell yeah" and letting everything else be a "no." It was a difficult lesson to learn. A strong mind and will can achieve anything, but without accountability, that power can lead to destructive actions. I learned a powerful truth: you reap what you sow. If you plant the seeds of people-pleasing, you will reap shallow relationships. Giving lip service and not keeping your word is a form of manipulation. This is why true community is essential—it provides the accountability needed to find our genuine selves.
From Manipulation to Expertise
Once you work through the habit of manipulating others to make a buck or a friend, you develop a new expertise: listening to your gut. This instinct is what makes you adaptable. When you are adaptable, your service becomes just deep enough to solve the problem without wasting your time or the energy of the people you serve. You become capable of diagnosing both mechanical and interpersonal problems. You become someone reliable.
Reliability, in turn, earns respect. Respect isn't given; it's earned. It’s like a compound interest, growing from the consistent investment you make in being truthful and reliable.
Waking up every day and speaking only the truth is a commitment. On this path, you start to see others on your level, and you see those on their way up. You gain empathy, a crucial trait that helps you remember that we are all just "Real People."
Real Service and Root Causes
"Real Service" is about offering something productive and valuable to the world. No one wants to pay for an inferior product or poor service. To consistently produce high-quality work, you must be adaptable and understand yourself completely. Your empathy will allow you to see through the confusion and pain of others to truly help and heal, whether you're working on a mechanical device or a human mind.
The best healers and mechanics all know the same secret: you must understand the Root Causes. Masters learn to navigate the spectrum of root causes, aligning what must be aligned and accepting what cannot be changed.
This is a journey I’m still on, and it was inspired by a recent project with Medart Engine to create a five-step course for mechanics, by mechanics. It’s a powerful reminder that the principles of integrity, respect, and service apply to everything we do.
Join me for the journey and take part in building a community for us by us.
--More Potlucks